It’s time to wake up the one "my" human always calls my “Grandma”. I think she is too comfortable in that human cat bed. GOOD she is laying on her back, I think I will just walk across her stomach (why does she jump like that when I step on something she keeps calling her bladder?) and lay down on her chest. It’s OOOOOO so comfy here. UMMMM hello? I am here!!! Hmmmmmmmm…..maybe if I purr she will notice me? Come on “Grandma”, if you wake up I “might” let you scratch my head for a moment. But, only for a moment, because you know that humans have cooties, and I will have to take a bath afterwards. Nothing!! She’s not moving! OK let’s try this again. I am going to jump off the human cat bed and sit on the floor for a second. Hey the side of the bed makes noise when I paw at it. Maybe, that will wake her up? Pawing……..Pawing……….looking up to see if she notices…..pawing……..pawing. She moved! OK quick……..jump back up. I think I will walk up, turn around, and twitch my tail so that it hits her in the head. She just pushes me away saying something about my butt and not wanting it near her face. I just look at her and blink. Does she realize who she is dealing with? And besides, I am still mad at her for letting that man who says he is NOT my “Grandpa” back on MY side of the bed. I think I will step on that bladder thing again. That usually seems to work after a few tries. And she’s up and running toward the room with the super sized cat bowl in it. I hear a noise and the water twirls around in the bowl. I think she is aerating the water because she read somewhere that cats like their drinking water that way. How nice of her to think of me. Now where is my FOOD? She is walking toward the door and the animal they call “Shelby” is laying there. I believe she is what they call a dog. Aren’t cats supposed to be afraid of those? She always runs to the big see through thing that slides back and forth and waits until the “Grandma” lets her outside. I wonder why I’m not allowed outside? I mean…….the “Grandma” wouldn’t have to clean out my litter box if I was allowed to go outside. Speaking of litter boxes, why do you feel the need to put that smelly white stuff in there when you clean it out? It makes my paws smell like a girl. In case you didn’t know it. I am a BOY! OK……….back to the food issue. The one called Shelby has eaten all of mine again. Can you PLEASE do something about that? The "Grandma" is reaching into the closet and scoops out some of that dry stuff. AWWWW…….that stuff is sooooooooo boring. I was hoping for the wet stuff that comes from a can. I guess I will take a few bites. She is looking at me weird as I walk away from the food she just poured into my bowl. I guess I wasn’t as hungry as I thought I was. What to do with myself now? WAIT there is the other one like me. The humans call her Tori Belle, but she keeps telling me her real name is “The Princess”. WHATEVER! She is giving me that smirk that says “You know that she never gives you the wet stuff in the morning” “You are such a dumb CAT” I think I will walk by her and smack her in the head……..yeah………that will really make her happy. She had a hissy fit and ran off. Big baby, I didn't even hit her that hard! Who is the DUMB cat now???? Next time, I think I will see if she wants to wrestle instead. The “Grandma” has let Shelby back in and is now walking back toward the human cat bed. I think I will run in between her feet to see if I can trip her. Watch it there!!!! That is my tail you are stepping on!!! She has the nerve to direct a few choice words at me!!!! I’m the one who got stepped on!! Now she's back in bed and is looking in the direction of this box thing that has some numbers on it. It appears to be 4:30. Maybe that is why it’s still dark outside. She is laying there staring at the ceiling. Is there something interesting up there?? LOOKING……..LOOKING……..no….I don’t see anything. She’s weird!! Well I am tired ……..I think I will go into what these humans call a living room and take a nap on one of the large cat beds they bought just for ME. YAWN! Tootles!
Dink (the “Grandma’s” favorite boy kitty in the whole wide world!)