Hairy Topic

OK! How come you always notice that the hair on your legs has grown into a forest when you are sitting in the passenger seat at the drive thru of a fast food restaurant? The person handing you the food looks at you funny as you ask your husband "when did that forest grow there"? "It must have sprung up over night"!

So this morning, I was in the bathroom with my pink chainsaw yelling timber as I tried to find some skin underneath all those trees. I was moving along just fine until I came across a patch of eczema, which grows rampant in my neck of the woods! I'm telling you! You probably could have heard me all the way at your house! And it wasn't TIMBER I was yelling!

While cursing like a lumberjack I happened to glance in the mirror and saw a couple of caterpillars crawling around on my forehead! O MY GOODNESS! I had to catch those quick because I've been told stories about how they like to start mating right between your eyes! I pulled there legs out one at a time just to show them who the boss was! All the time telling them "This is hurting me more than it is you".

My morning got even better when I noticed that there was also a skunk on my head! What in the world is going on here? How long was I out in that darn forest anyway? Coming home with all these critters to get rid of isn't how I pictured spending my day! I will have to go and see Ms. L'Oreal. I heard she really knows how to get rid of a skunk! I've been told that she has this cream called "Skunk Be Gone" that works like a charm. But I will look pretty funny walking around with it on my head for about 40 minutes!

I am hoping that my day gets better, but I am thinking that the pretty waterfall I discovered flowing out of my flowerbed, and flooding the yard is a sure sign of all things wonderful coming my way today!

So, my words of wisdom for the day are "DON'T GO INTO THE FOREST!" It's NOT YOUR FRIEND! And don't forget to turn off the hose before it builds up so much pressure that it bursts open and creates an amazing new water feature that will make your neighbors jealous!