Thursday, January 17, 2008

Things That I Learned Last Night!

Last night, while Mr. Mister and I were driving down the road, we suddenly heard "THUMP" "THUMP" "THUMP...THUMP...THUMP...THUMP!" As the noise steadily grew louder, I asked "What in the world is that noise? Do we have a flat tire?"


GREAT! FANTASTIC! And a bunch of other wonderfully descriptive words came to the tip of my tongue! I was NOT thrilled! We had just replaced both of my front tires on Saturday because my tire split open.

We drove a little further so that we could turn off of the main road, because we definitely didn't want to be stuck there, trying to change a flat tire, and end up getting hit by someone who was speeding, as they looked in the mirror to see if they had food stuck in their teeth, while changing the radio station, and talking on their cell phone!

We parked on a side road. A VERY dark side road! A street lamp would have been NICE, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
We got out of the truck, in the 29 degree weather, and Mr. Mister began gathering all of the tools that came with the truck to change the tire. As he was grabbing everything, he mentioned the fact that we didn't have a flash light with us. RUT RO SHAGGY! "How in the world are you going to change a flat tire in the dark?" I asked, while beginning to do my jump around to try and stay warm dance.

Never fear! He had his trusty LIGHTER with him! He crawled under the truck and started flicking his lighter to help him see the hole that the iron thing-a-ma-jiggy was supposed to fit into. Finding that hole meant that we would be able to get the spare tire out from underneath the truck. FLICK! FLICK! FLICK! (At that point, I felt like we should have been at some really great concert, swaying back and forth with the crowd, as we yelled out "WE LOVE YOU! YOU TOTALLY ROCK!") I then heard Mr. Mister say that he couldn't find the hole to insert the iron thing-a-ma-jiggy into. Frustrated, he crawled back out from under the truck, and lit a cigarette!

He pulled out the instruction manuals for the truck, and I pulled out my cell phone to call our son. Thank goodness he actually answered his phone, because 90% of the time he doesn't. I asked him if he and his friend were out running around? He said "yes." "Well, can you PLEASE come find us on this cold, no street light around, dark, unknown named, side road, and shine some light on the truck so that we can see what we are doing?" "Sure" he said, "but it's going to take a while because we are all the way across town" OK! GREAT! Help was on the way!

Twenty minutes passed and we were still trying to figure out how to get the tire out from underneath the truck. They even had pictures in the manual! We looked at them and tried to do exactly what was shown, but it just wasn't working. So we looked at the pictures again (and AGAIN!) I guess we thought that if we kept looking at them, that something (ANYTHING) would magically appear, and help us in our plight!

Finally, Mr. Mister decided that the pictures were wrong, and put the iron thing-a-ma-jiggy into the hole at a different angle (not straight like the picture had shown) and TA DA, it worked!

He began to twirl, and twirl, and TWIRL the bar around, so that it would release the tire. As Mr. Mister was dragging the tire from underneath the truck, we saw a car come around the corner. The calvary had arrived! They pulled their car around to face ours, so that the headlights were shining on the front tire.

Next, came the challenge of figuring out where the jack needed to be placed under the truck. A few minutes passed, and I was still doing my "stay warm" dance. (Did I mention that it was only 29 degrees outside, AND that I only had a sweat jacket on? WELL! How the heck was I supposed to know that I would be standing out in the cold for forty-five minutes?) My son was a sweetie, and gave me his jacket. He swore up and down that he wasn't cold, but I saw the goosebumps on arms. I kept trying to give it back, but he wouldn't take it.

They figured out the right spot for the jack, and began the whole TWIRLING process again. Slowly, the truck raised up off the ground so that they could pull the flat tire off and replace it with the spare. Everything was tightened back up, and then they had the fun of twirling BACKWARDS to lower the truck back down. The spare was thrown in the back of the truck, and we all jumped back into our cars.

The heat was blowing on high, as we headed toward our favorite Mexican restaurant for some much needed nourishment.

I know, I KNOW, you wish that you could have such fun and exciting evenings too! It's not easy to maintain this kind of exhilarating lifestyle, but we try really hard.

So, what things did I learn last night?

1. ALWAYS have a flashlight in your car!
2. Dark side streets are not conducive to changing flat tires!
3. The picture in the car manual is not always RIGHT!
4. The jack that comes with your car, is a piece of CRAP! (But it will help build up your arm muscles!)
5. Buy a new jack for your car! (Who needs arm muscles anyway?)
6. The "try and stay warm" dance DOESN'T work!
7. Wear a heavier jacket in the middle of winter!

P.S. This is for Kari!

Take that! LOL!


This totally made me laugh today!


Cheryl Wray said...

Oh my goodness...I am feeling your pain here. It was SO cold today; I can't imagine being stuck out in it changing my tire. Yuck!
Glad you got it all figured out, though!

(and FUNNY cartoon!)

Kari (GrannySkywalker) said...

Okay. Message received, loud and clear. You've sent me a giant polar bear who is blowing me a honkin' raspberry. Changing flat tires really makes you sweet, huh? I would have thought eating the Mexican food would have restored some of your good nature. Apparently, I was mistaken. lol

Glad you could find the strength have your horrific ordeal to blog about it. Bless your heart (I KNOW how hard it is to watch someone else change a tire! lol). GLAD YOU'RE BACK TO BLOGGING!!!


Mosaic*Queen said...

I'm loving this Great sense of humor you have! You make me smile and laugh out loud when reading your blog!
Summer before last, I drove my two youngest daughters, myself and our two pugs to San Diego, CA for the weekend. (my hubby was hunting or always!) The drive is only about 5 1/2 hours. We had a wonderful time!!! Then came the drive home, when we too, got a flat tire and of course, it happened just as we entered Arizona where the current temp was 115 freak'n degrees and we were on a VERY BUSY highway! Luckily, I had a comforter in the car that I was able to put onto the ground so that I didn't scorch my knees off because I was in shorts, as it was 115 freak'n degrees! Let me tell you, I never changed a tire so fast in my life. I had that baby changed within 10 minutes and was back on the road (because it was HOT!) My teenage girls were highly impressed! I told them that they too needed to learn how to change a tire, as they mind end up with a man like their father! lol!
Thanks for the laugh!
p.s. I hope that Mexican food was good!!!

Greenie Gardens said...

Great post I'm still laughing! I love the bear and the cartoon!